With Grace and Grit - Life with Chronic Illness
Fear – and the anxiety it creates – is one of the first emotions we encounter when we’re diagnosed with a chronic illness.
Did you know that naming your fears is the first step in taking away their power? Here are the 7 fears we face when we live with chronic illness – and 7 tips for managing them.
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Our journey with chronic illness is full of surprises. One of them is that we may not always feel “sick”. That’s a good thing, right? So why do we feel guilty for feeling good? And what can we do about it?
If you’re living with a chronic condition, you’re no stranger to guilt. There are many reasons why we feel guilty for being chronically ill.
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Chances are you’ve taken the time to create a household budget. But have you created a budget for your time and and your energy? This is especially important if you’re chronically ill.
If you’ve found yourself at a crossroads over the past year or so, you aren’t alone. We’ve all been affected by the pandemic – even if we were fortunate enough not to contract the virus. It changed our lives.
But one of the unsung blessings of change is that it forces us to rethink everything we took for granted. After all, we were reminded that life is full of surprises (not all good ones) and of how quickly it can change. It was a bold reminder that some things are far more important than money.
And time is one of them.
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It can be hard to have a positive outlook when you’re chronically ill. If you’ve tried to cultivate a more optimistic version of yourself – but find that you feel worse, there are a good few reasons why.
We’ve been in the throes of a positivity movement for years. If you’ve tried to cultivate a more optimistic version of yourself, you may have noticed that your efforts can leave you feeling worse. You’re not alone. There are reasons why you might be doing yourself more harm than good.
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Body image and chronic illness: For many of us, it’s impossible to think of one without being reminded of the other. Here’s why – and what you can do about it.
Why does my body hate me? I’ve asked myself that question. So many times.
A journey with chronic illness is as much an emotional one as a physical one. And it’s almost always accompanied by a feeling that our body has betrayed us. Logically, we know that our body doesn’t hate us – but it can feel that way.
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We want to be accepted for who we are. But many of us are reluctant to talk about our chronic illness. Why do we avoid it?
We’ve all seen the t-shirts.
Sometimes they boast a vividly colored ribbon representing a certain type of cancer.
Or they outright announce the name of a specific disease followed by the words “awareness month”.
And occasionally, they’re less specific but just as bold: “Proud Owner of a Broken Immune System!”
Do you want to know how many of these I own?
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Inadequate. Weak. Unworthy. Useless. These are just a few of the adjectives that describe emotions we may feel when we are chronically ill or experiencing chronic pain.
It’s not difficult to understand why our chronic illness makes us feel useless, or at minimum “less than”. After all, we’ve fallen headlong into the fiendish snare of defining ourselves – at least in part – by what we do. It doesn’t matter if those things are related to what we “do” for a living or what we do for pleasure.
But it doesn’t have to be this way! Read on for a fail-safe approach to living forward despite your illness.
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No one is immune from FOMO. But if you are chronically ill, the “Fear of Missing Out” is a familiar condition. But FOMO be damned. Let’s talk about JOMO instead! I want to share just a few of the reasons why there is joy in missing out.
There they are. The blissfully happy people on social media! Relishing an Instagram-worthy dinner and cocktails with a group of friends. Sunning themselves on a pristine beach. Sharing photos from a trip to an obscure, unspoiled postcard-perfect destination.
And what about you?
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It’s a role reversal. You’re chronically ill but you need to take care of someone else. It isn’t easy, but it can done. And the best part is that there is something transformative about providing care to others – especially when you are accustomed to having someone take care of you.
In spite of its many variations, the common denominator of all chronic illnesses is their persistent nature – their “chronic-ness“. So we learn to accept living in a state of flux. Sometimes we do it with grace. Other times, our approach is decidedly inelegant. After all, we are trying to find our way through a maze whose pathways lead to barriers we can’t anticipate.
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Having a life-changing illness forces us to learn to cope with a constant state of uncertainty. I have three crucial pieces of advice for living with a serious illness. It’s the best advice that no one ever gave me, and I want to share it with you.
I celebrated a pretty big milestone this week. My fifteenth birthday. Technically it’s a “rebirth” day because fifteen years ago I received a stem cell transplant that saved my life and ultimately cured me of an aggressive form of non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, a cancer of the lymphatic system.
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Have you ever heard the expression “eating your emotions”? Emotional eating isn’t simply about what you’re consuming. In fact, it’s more about the reasons why you’re doing it.
I’ve had chocolate cake three days in a row. And more than one piece per day. But it’s not just any chocolate cake. It’s a heavenly marriage of buttercream frosting laced with crushed Oreo cookies thickly slathered between layers of moist cake. Did I mention that it’s crowned with chocolate ganache?
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Ready to part with all of the stuff that you don’t need? Don’t make it harder than it needs to be. Here’s the easiest way to declutter when you’re chronically ill.
There are bones on my dining room table. One is a humerus, I think. Or is it a tibia? In either case, they look like clutter to me. But I can’t get rid of them.
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Are you overwhelmed by all of your stuff? Are you ready to simplify and get your house in order? If you’re not sure where to start, I have what you need: a simple plan for decluttering.
I’d be lying if I said I own too much stuff. Because the truth is that it owns me. Our stuff is like that, isn’t it? We allow it – we actually invite it – into our homes. And we coexist quite happily until we just don’t need each other anymore. But like a bad relationship that we just can’t bring ourselves to end, we hang onto it.
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Getting rid of clutter. Everybody’s doing it. But would you believe me if I told you to stop wasting your time decluttering?
Why? Because when you’re chronically ill, you can’t afford to part with your energy. Also, you’re probably doing it wrong.
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In spite of (or maybe because of) the roller-coaster year we’ve had, I’ve learned life-changing lessons from living with chronic illness – and have emerged stronger.
Self-reflection. It’s a good thing, right? And if ever there was plenty of time for wholehearted soul-searching, it was 2020. But damn, this year needs to be over.
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