Just Live Forward

With Grace and Grit - Life with Chronic Illness

When Your Chronic Illness Makes You Feel Useless

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Inadequate. Weak. Unworthy. Useless. These are just a few of the adjectives that describe emotions we may feel when we are chronically ill or experiencing chronic pain.

It’s not difficult to understand why our chronic illness makes us feel useless, or at minimum “less than”. After all, we’ve fallen headlong into the fiendish snare of defining ourselves – at least in part – by what we do. It doesn’t matter if those things are related to what we “do” for a living or what we do for pleasure.

But it doesn’t have to be this way! Read on for a fail-safe approach to living forward despite your illness.

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Swapping FOMO for JOMO: Finding the Joy of Missing Out

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Joy of Missing Out written on yellow paper with eucalyptus and a cup of coffee nearby

No one is immune from FOMO.  But if you are chronically ill, the “Fear of Missing Out” is a familiar condition.  But FOMO be damned.  Let’s talk about JOMO instead!  I want to share just a few of the reasons why there is joy in missing out. 

There they are.  The blissfully happy people on social media! Relishing an Instagram-worthy dinner and cocktails with a group of friends. Sunning themselves on a pristine beach.  Sharing photos from a trip to an obscure, unspoiled postcard-perfect destination.

And what about you?

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How to Take Care of Others When You’re Chronically Ill

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It’s a role reversal. You’re chronically ill but you need to take care of someone else. It isn’t easy, but it can done. And the best part is that there is something transformative about providing care to others – especially when you are accustomed to having someone take care of you.

In spite of its many variations, the common denominator of all chronic illnesses is their persistent nature – their “chronic-ness“. So we learn to accept living in a state of flux. Sometimes we do it with grace. Other times, our approach is decidedly inelegant. After all, we are trying to find our way through a maze whose pathways lead to barriers we can’t anticipate.

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The Best Advice No One Ever Gave Me

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Living with a serious or life-changing illness forces us to learn to cope with a constant state of uncertainty. I have three crucial pieces of advice. It’s the best advice that no one ever gave me, and I want to share it with you.

I celebrated a pretty big milestone this week. My fifteenth birthday. Technically it’s a “rebirth” day because fifteen years ago I received a stem cell transplant that saved my life and ultimately cured me of an aggressive form of non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, a cancer of the lymphatic system.

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Emotional Eating – It’s Not Just About the Food

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Chocolate cupcake with decorative frosting, dusted with crushed nuts

Have you ever heard the expression “eating your emotions”? Emotional eating isn’t simply about what you’re consuming. In fact, it’s more about the reasons why you’re doing it.

I’ve had chocolate cake three days in a row. And more than one piece per day. But it’s not just any chocolate cake. It’s a heavenly marriage of buttercream frosting laced with crushed Oreo cookies thickly slathered between layers of moist cake. Did I mention that it’s crowned with chocolate ganache?

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The Easiest Way to Declutter with Chronic Illness

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Woven square basket labeled "donations"; set against a background of greenery

Ready to part with all of the stuff that you don’t need? Don’t make it harder than it needs to be. Here’s the easiest way to declutter when you’re chronically ill.

There are bones on my dining room table. One is a humerus, I think. Or is it a tibia? In either case, they look like clutter to me. But I can’t get rid of them.

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A Simple Plan for Decluttering with Chronic Illness

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White flowers next to notebook with pastel watercolor floral design and silver pen

Are you overwhelmed by all of your stuff? Are you ready to simplify and get your house in order? If you’re not sure where to start, I have what you need: a simple plan for decluttering.

I’d be lying if I said I own too much stuff. Because the truth is that it owns me. Our stuff is like that, isn’t it? We allow it – we actually invite it – into our homes. And we coexist quite happily until we just don’t need each other anymore. But like a bad relationship that we just can’t bring ourselves to end, we hang onto it.

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Four Big Mistakes that Chronically Ill People Make

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Our lives are fraught with missteps and mistakes. Here are a few of the big mistakes that chronically ill people make.

I’m stuck. You probably know the feeling – the ongoing sense of being completely trapped at worst, or at best, feeling suspended in a state of inertia. I’m not moving backward but I’m sure as hell not moving forward.

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How to Stop the Sabotage of Negative Self-Talk

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Happy and sad faces drawn on sticky notes, representing the concept of human emotions.

Living with a chronic illness can predispose us to negative self-talk. It can be hard to prevent our limitations – real and perceived – from changing how we see and value ourselves.

I don’t know anyone who claims to be immune to the potential ravages of negative self-talk. We all do it – although not necessarily to the same degree. Self-doubt, self-loathing, self-consciousness, self-deprecation – I could go on. But I’m guessing you know exactly what I’m talking about.

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The Pitfalls of Prednisone: Surviving the Side Effects

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Eastern Chipmunk standing on a mossy log with its cheek pouches full of food

It’s widely prescribed and can be wonderfully effective. But the side effects can be wicked. Here are some tips for surviving the side effects of prednisone.

Have you ever taken prednisone? If you have a chronic illness or autoimmune disease that is inflammatory in nature – as so many are – you probably have. And taking prednisone is like balancing precariously on a double-edged sword somewhere between gratitude and madness.

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Half Full: The Hidden Upsides of Chronic Illness

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a glass half full of water surround by lemons, representing the glass half-full/half-empty concept

I never anticipated that I’d find the hidden upsides of chronic illness. If you dig a little deeper you’ll find them, too.

Have you ever been asked if you’re a “glass half empty” or “glass half full” type of person? I’ve never thought of myself strictly in terms of being optimistic or pessimistic. I choose to think of myself as realistic.

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Parenting with Chronic Illness: What you Should Know

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Parenting with chronic illness presents unique emotional and physical challenges. But there are things we can do to help our children – and ourselves – thrive in spite of our illness.

I’m not the mom I’d hoped I’d be. I have – more than once – allowed myself to re-examine the past. And I wonder how I might have parented differently if I hadn’t been ill.

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